How long can we pretend smile, when we are actually dead inside?

Do you know that feeling when you are dead inside? When you have no control over your body? When you can´t eat because when you put something into your mouth, you start to vomit. When you can´t sleep because there are lot of things that bother you and you can´t stop thinking about them. When you can´t focus on anything that mattered in your life before. When you can´t enjoy things you liked before. When you just stare to the wall with an empty look. When you cry, cry and cry. When you cry so badly that your body is shaking and you can´t control it. When you cry so badly that everything hurts you. Even though everything hurts, you know that you are dead or you die very soon because you have no other feeling but pain. You can´t bear it and you still cry, cry and cry. But the face you show outside wears smile on it.

Why are we pretending being happy when we are not? We don’t share pics from our bad days. We don’t want them to feel pity for us. We don’t want them to see us weak. We share only happy moments with the world. We don’t tell the world about our problems because we know that the people reading our status on social media would be happy that we have them. We don’t want to be embarrassed. We don’t want to look ridiculous. We don’t want them to make fun of us and talk shit behind our back. We pretend being happy to make them jealous.

But what if we can´t handle it? What if we need a help? Do we ask for it or we stay too proud to admit it?

There are things that we need to hide and pretend happiness because we don’t have other option. There are situations when we can´t admit anything and we need to play our role like a professional actor maybe even better.

What about a mother who found out that her husband is cheating on her? She has to shut her mouth and pretend that everything is okay because of kids.
What about a pregnant woman who is not sure if the baby will be healthy? She has to pretend that she can´t wait to become a mom because freaking out might just cause more damage.
What about a mother whose child has incurable disease? She needs to smile and bring last happy moments for her kid.
What about girlfriend who finds out that she is actually a slut because the asshole is married? She has to put fake smile on her face and tell her friends that she dumped him because of other reason because the truth is so embarrassing that if somebody founds out, she would prefer to erase herself from this world.

Women pretend to be happy because they care too much for others and they don´t want to bring them pain, or because they don´t want to be embarrassed because it would make the whole situation even worse.

Most of the time we are strong and we are able to play our roles in this world. But sometimes we fail and we share our weak moments on social media. We need attention. We want them to feel for us. We want them to help us. But eventually we regret it because we weren’t strong enough to deal with our issues by ourselves.

What about me? I also pretend smile. I don´t talk about my shit because I don’t want to bother my true friends, and I don’t want to give the reason to make fun of me to fake ones. I just write. Writing is my rehab and it really helps a lot. Do you wonder what happened to me that I needed to share this article with you? I won´t tell you because you wouldn’t believe it anyway. But trust me the most bizarre stories are written by the life itself. I´m only a scribe.

Btw have you ever had that feeling that those ones who guide our destiny have really weird sense of humor? Because some times what they put in my path is so unbelievable that I´m so confused that I´m not sure whether to cry or laugh.😅🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

PS, I wish you all to live as happy life as you pretend on social media 😉✌️

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