What happened next? My old friend Peter planned a vacation in Miami in the beginning of December. He texted me about it in the summer because he knew that I was in the US so he wanted to meet up. But there were a lot of things going on during Summer so I didn’t have time to even think about vacation in Miami. But now, the situation has changed dramatically, and a vacation with a person, who knows me perfectly and even knows such things about me that others couldn’t even imagine, would be delightful.

I stayed and worked in Key West for three weeks. The whole time, I stayed in my friend´s place because I couldn’t stand being in one room with The Young One. It was enough that I kept seeing him at work daily.

In those three weeks, I had to arrange everything. I packed my stuff into boxes again and sent them to my old apartment in Trenton. My friend lived there with her boyfriend, but they were nice enough to shelter me after I come back for a while until I found my own place.

In the beginning of December, I went to Miami where I met up with Peter. It felt awesome seeing him again. ☺️ Since Andreas forbade me from seeing him, I hadn’t met him in person. We finally met after five years, and it felt like nothing had changed. We still had a lot of common topics, we still had a lot of fun and this time our weed-smoking turned into cocaine-snorting. 🙈 I know, I know. Drugs are shitty, but are you wondering why I did it? I was totally fucked up. I didn’t know what to do next, where to go and I felt lost. I felt cheated, betrayed and desperate. 😞

But I still had one positive thing left; my blog.🔝 I lived only for it. On my birthday, I published my first post despite what I was going through at the time. I couldn’t let my personal shit spoil my plan and take my focus away from my dream. The blog was only the beginning. I have many more stories in my head that I will publish one day as a book. I swear.☝️☺️

In Miami, I just lay on the beach and relaxed. In the evening, I went to parties where I got totally drunk and forgot about everything. I got two tattoos that remind me who I am and what I want.
On my left arm it is ´live your dream´ because this is what I´m planning to do. I want to live my dream! A life lived for myself, not for someone else. ☝️
My second tattoo is on my right hand between thumb and index finger. It is the crown. 👑 So when I shake hands with somebody, they will be aware who they are dealing with. With the Queen.👑👸😎😇😉

From now on, you can try to put me down however you want, but you will not succeed. 😝 You will not make me doubt myself.🖕 I already know who I am, and I don’t let anyone take it away from me. Even if I am The Cold Queen, who is unable of love, but I am still a queen. I will not compromise myself and serve anyone else. I am The Queen and I make the rules, so you better deal with it or get out!🖕

After my month-long ´trip´ to Florida, I came back to Trenton and started all over again. I put my head down and started to clean again. I needed to pay my bills somehow, right? 🤦‍♀️ But I didn’t stop writing. 👩‍💻 What was the next? That is another story all together.

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