I was dead. After The Liar killed me, my soul was dead. There was only a body that stayed alive and somehow managed to keep going. I went to school, to work from time to time I met Lea and Nela for a coffee. We told each other what was new, how we were doing and that was it. I wasn’t able to have any fun. I didn’t feel like having fun. I didn’t feel like doing anything at all.
At work, two guys tried to come onto me; Mathew and Robert. Their interest flattered me but they really couldn’t expect anything from me. There was no chemistry. I didn’t feel anything. Since they tried very hard to get my attention, always saying compliments, I finally agreed to a date. As I already mentioned before that I was going to only use men (see Man Who Killed Me) so I meant to start it right now.
Mathew and I went to the cinema and then we had a drink. Robert and I had a dinner. I got along pretty well with both of them. It was nice to converse with them but it was definitely not going any further. Physically I didn’t like any of them. I wouldn’t say that I didn´t want to have sex already though. After all, it was pretty long since I had good sex. Last time I had a good fuck it was with Mike, and that was more than a year ago. Now, I was really horny, but I definitely didn´t want to have sex with them. One of them was too fat and the other one was too skinny. No to mention, both of them were a bit shorter than me. So, no thank you!
After our dates, I didn’t kiss either of them, but they didn’t give up. They kept visiting me at work and kept fighting for my attention. I must admit that they were a pleasant distraction, and step by step, I was forgetting that pain that was still inside me. It was weaker and weaker each day and finally I felt like I could live again. I wanted to enjoy life again. I wanted to have fun and I didn’t want to bother myself with anything important. I just wanted to have fun, party and I wanted to drink until I completely forget.😓
November came and my birthday came with it as well. That was a perfect occasion for new beginning. I was starting to live! It was my twentieth birthday; my breakthrough from teenager to a young lady. 🙌🔝
Lea had a free house so Nela and I went to her place to celebrate my birthday.🎊🎉🍸🍹 We got drunk there, and then we went to a night club. I dressed up pretty provocatively. Short dress, high heels, strong make up and loose hair. I wanted to seduce somebody awesome. Somebody for one night (or for more nights) but I must point out that it would only be for nights. ☝No dates! No feelings; only sex. It was the only thing I needed and I was determined to get it. That was supposed to be my present to myself: a nice fuck. 🎁
I got pretty drunk and we danced a lot. Larry came to the club to see us so Nela was dancing with him and I was going crazy on dance floor with Lea. 💃After while I found out that the guys standing around were watching us. So we softened our wild moves and started to dance more coyly and make eyes at all the guys who couldn’t stop staring at us. As my eyes wandered around and searched my next fuck, I noticed that over at the end of the room stood a black guy. Can you believe it?! A black guy?! Here in my country?😲 He hypnotized me with his gaze. “That’s him! Tonight, I will leave with him”, I thought. I haven’t had a black guy yet and God knew when I have this possibility again. I wanted to try it. 😏😏
Despite the fact that up to then I only slept with one guy in a long term relationship and with another, I only had one weird sexual experience🤦♀️ , I was pretty brave. It was probably because I was too horny and too drunk. I had a thousand thoughts in my head, “Wow. I will fuck that black guy. I wonder what it´s going to be like and if it´s true that they have a big dicks. I´m curious where he is from and what he is doing here… Hmm, a black guy. That’s a challenge!😏 But what would be even more challenging? To plant my flag on yet another country on a map.🏁 You know, like some people put pins on each country they visited. So I will poke pins on countries from where I had lovers. It will be awesome!”😁
My second pin after Slovakia, went to Cameroon, Africa. That’s a jump, right? So yes, I seduced the black guy. He took me to his dorm at the university, where he studied medicine, and he fucked me. I´m not going to talk about our sex. I just tell you about a small embarrassing moment that happened to me when I was on my way out of there.🙈
All visitors to the university must leave their student ID at the reception desk. When I was leaving and went to ask for my ID, a doorwoman recognized me by my name on my ID. I mean by my surname. She said that she knew my grandma because she was from the same village as my grandma was. I was speechless. She looked at me disdainfully and I wanted to run out as my whole face turned red. I was afraid that she might say something to my grandma. The fact that her grand-daughter fucked a black guy would kill her. I was 100% sure that she had never even seen a black guy in her whole life. That old generation has huge prejudices against foreign people and people with a different skin color. Even the generation after theirs has the same prejudices, I mean generation my parents. And what about my generation? Well, we are very liberal and open to the world. I´m not surprised why the old generation is like this. A few generations ago Slovakia was under Fascism, then Communism and now we are children of Capitalism and globalization so we are much more liberal.
I was pleased that Christmas was coming. I love Christmas! 🤗However, it is holiday about family love, peace and harmony. I didn’t have any of these, but it was still the best time of the year. My classmates and I spent our evenings at the Christmas markets. There was always a performance in the city square at 5pm. For example, some children did theatre or sang, or there was some dance crew performing, or some singers, or bands playing music. There was a little of everything. We had a very nice time there. We enjoyed the shows, and in the meantime, we drank mulled wine or mead.
One day after work, I was supposed to go to the Christmas markets with Lea and Mathew. Coincidentally, they both knew each other from college. That evening they were supposed to come to my job to have a drink, and then we all would go downtown together. But for some reason they didn’t arrive. There were a lot of people in the pub so I didn’t have time to call them, because I was so busy.
When I finally had a bit time, I turn on the computer and checked Facebook, since neither of them picked up the phone when I called them. I saw on Facebook that Mathew posted a new picture. Lea and him were at the Christmas markets. I didn’t understand. We agreed we were going together and they went without me. 😯They didn’t even let me know! It pissed me off but I didn’t want to bother them and call them again. I just said, “Fuck it!” I closed the bar and went home.
For few days, neither of them got in touch with me and I didn’t call either. They ditched me so why should I call them? When I was at work the next weekend, Mathew showed up. I asked him why they didn’t show up when I was waiting for them. He only said that they wanted to be alone and that Lea was jealous that last months he hit on me and she wanted to spend at least one evening with him alone. I kind of didn’t believe it! It didn’t sound like Lea. She was my best friend and I was sure she would never be jealous of me. Actually she would be happy for me if I found suitable man, but that Mathew definitely wasn’t one. I couldn’t believe either that she would want to be with Mathew alone. I was sure she didn’t like him. She could do better. So did I. 😁☺😌
During Christmas break, Lea left the city with her family. They went to a mountain chalet so we didn’t have a chance to meet and explain everything. Nela went to her grandma´s place for a couple days and my plans were only work. I worked on New Year´s Eve so my boss organized a party where he invited our regular customers with their wives. The interesting thing was that his wife didn’t show up. I heard a rumor that they were having some problems at home.(see Married Guy)
Mathew and his friends came to the bar. Fortunately, Robert was somewhere skiing with his friends so he didn’t come. With Mathew there, one my follower was enough for me to take.🤦♀️ I also had enough on my plate because I worked on New Year´s Eve but I wanted to have some fun too.😒
Before midnight, one of Mathew´s friends came over to me. He was totally drunk and said: “I don’t get it how Mathew could seduce a chick like you. None of us could believe it when he told us that you two are a couple. He also told us all details how he fucked you and that you are pretty wild in the bed. OMG, we were all jealous. Tell me about it. It will be our secret. What do you see in him? You are out of his league! What did he do that you even noticed him?“ I just stared at him with my mouth opened.😲 I thought: “What did he just say? What does this mean? Is Mathew trying to show off to them that we are together? And he told them what am I like in the bed? He never even had me in his bed!” I was soooo pissed off! 😤😡He humiliated me. He totally embarrassed me. Of course, a girl like me would never start anything with somebody like him! Ugly, small, fat and a liar. Never! I have eyes and good taste. I wanted him to pay for what he did, and I already knew how I would make him to pay.
I flirted with him because I wanted to encourage him and make him think that he could kiss me at midnight. It worked! He tried and I slapped him. 👊Ha! And it was a slap! 👏It was pretty loud and everybody heard it. People turned to us and I said: “Did you really think you had a chance with me? Don’t be ridiculous!” After that show, everybody went outside to watch New Year´s fireworks. He went home embarrassed with tears in his eyes. I felt a bit sorry for him but I didn’t regret what I did. He shouldn’t lie. I hate liars!
After New Years, I met my girls for coffee. Lea could finally explain why she went to Christmas markets alone with him.
“Did he say that?” Lea got pretty angry.
“Yes, that you are jealous of me and you wanted to be alone with him. But I couldn’t believe it.”
“That asshole! Do you know what he said to me? That you made a huge scene because he wanted me to go with you guys and you didn’t want to share him so you made him decide, you or me.”
“That’s ridiculous!” I said.
Nela laughed, she was having quite a good time listening.
“I know. And he also said that he would rather be with me than with a hysterical lunatic like you. He probably wanted to flatter me that he chose me over you, but he didn’t have chance anyway.” Said Lea.
“In my opinion, he wanted to make you jealous, Klara. And what he said to you, Lea, he said to get some extra points. If it didn’t work with Klara, he could still have you like a back up plan. He thought it out well.” Nela smiled. She really enjoyed this hilarious situation.
“Not so well. Was he really so stupid that he thought we don’t talk to each other?” Lea asked.
“Exactly! It was obvious that we would figure out that he lied. He is so stupid!” I didn’t get it.
“At least he showed us his true side. It´s not possible to hide it forever.” Nela pointed out.
“Exactly!” Lea agreed.
The second semester was almost over. It was already warm outside and one sunny Sunday, Robert asked me out. He constantly visited me at work, and I must admit that I enjoyed his company. It was very nice to talk to him. We laughed a lot, but I still didn’t like him in that way. I only saw him as a great friend. Well, let´s get back to that Sunday. He asked me out for a walk and a beer. It was my weekend off after a long time because I needed to study for exams. But, I did also need a bit of rest from studying… So I went out with him.
He picked me up and we went for a walk along river. We stopped at a pub to have a beer, but, there was a surprise waiting for me. Coincidentally his family was sitting there. His parents, aunt and uncle, little cousin and even his grandma. I didn’t understand what this was supposed to mean. 😲He introduced me to all of them, and we had a seat at their table. They had a family walk and stopped there to have a beer. Robert was actually taking a walk with them, and when he asked me out, he actually asked me to join him and his family. I thought, “Is he nuts? I´m not interested in his family! I´m not his girlfriend or something! He is not supposed to introduce me to them.” That whole situation was very embarrassing. I sat there quiet like church mouse. I had no idea what to talk about. After 15min, I made an excuse that I needed to go home to continue with my studying for exams. It wasn’t an excuse but the actual truth. I couldn’t afford losing any time when I had plenty to do at home.
Robert walked me home, and the whole time bothered about why I was so quiet. Poor guy, he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand that he was just a friend, nothing more. He still hoped that I was his true love or something. He thought that when he introduced me to his family that I would fit in there and that we would live together happily ever after. Really?🤦♀️ This is not happening! I wasn´t interested. Thank you very much. Not interested in any of it, not love, not family, not any bullshit like this. Thanks. I prefer to be alone.
A week later, I met a new guy at work. His name was Michael. He was hot, manly, his face was pretty nice too, but he was unbearable to listen to.🤦♀️ He had a couple topics which he loved to talk about. First and foremost subject was himself. Another topic which he loved to talk about was himself and the topic which he absolutely couldn’t get enough of was himself.🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
He obviously liked me because he was sitting at the bar like a fly on shit. He showed obvious interest in me. He told me compliments, but then he talked about himself again. All the time only him, him, him! He didn’t ask me anything at all. The funny thing about this situation was that my co-worker actually liked him. Lol!😅😅😅
I didn’t get along with my co-worker so it was great that we met each other only once a week when we did the inventory. While taking inventory of all the goods, Michael was still in the pub talking to our boss or to us. My co-worker was totally crazy about Michael and he totally ignored her. He stared at me all the time, and talked about himself and his life experiences. I was only nodding 😴and my colleague ate up his every single word.
One day, he asked me on a date. I accepted even though I really didn’t feel like listening to his bullshit even in my free time. But I persuaded myself to go on a date with him only to make my colleague upset. 😄😏
We went to a lunch at a restaurant. It was quite nice, and I already thought that it wasn’t going to be as bad as I expected. Then I found out that he asked me to that particular restaurant because he was promised to have a free lunch there. He knew the owner and helped him with something so in return he received a free lunch for two people. I thought, “Did he really invited me on a first date to a restaurant where he has lunch for free? Or did he have a free lunch and he asked me on a date there, so that he would have a company? Did he want to show off that he could afford to take me to beautiful restaurant? Didn’t he realize that I wouldn’t appreciate that he didn’t pay for our lunch? He could have taken me somewhere else to impress me, and acted like a real man. And not like a beggar or cheapskate. What a character?!? He sees only himself and he is even cheap to spend money on a date. That’s pathetic.” 🤦♀️Like that wasn’t enough, it also started to rain on our way home. The rain was very strong and after few minutes I was completely wet. I was very cold by the time I arrived home and next day, I had a fever. Karma got me! I wanted to do something bad to my co-worker and I got sick as punishment instead.🤷♀️
“How was it on that Erasmus (European student exchange programme) party?” Nela asked us when we finally found time to meet up during the busy exam period.
“It was amazing! It´s a shame that you didn’t go with us. I seduced a Turkish guy and I practiced my English with him… and then French as well. Then also gymnastics.” Lea winked at us.
“I hit on Spanish guy and practiced my Spanish with him. In his dorm, he even gave me a private lesson in French, and also some gymnastics as well.”
We all laughed. We all understood our double entendre.😅😅😅
“So I can plant another flag”, I was pleased.
“God. Klara! Since the Liar dumped you, you don’t know what to do with yourself.”, Nela tried to lecture me.
“Leave her alone! Let her have fun while she is young. She has a right to go bananas after that jerk screwed her such nasty way”, Lea stood up for me.
“I will do what I want and I don’t need to explain myself to anybody”, I said.
“Fine. I didn’t mean to offend you”, Nela apologized.
Weeks passed and summer was already here. Robert finally gave up on me and left me alone. After the embarrassment in that restaurant, Michael gave up too. I pointed out to him that it was really ridiculous that he wasn’t able to pay for our lunch, and that he really didn’t impress me. We had a nasty fight, and then my colleague consoled him. 😂They both lamented how the world isn’t fair and what people are really like. They especially spoke shit about me, what a bitch I am.🤦♀️🤷♀️ They ended up in each other´s arms and could live happily ever after. How pathetic and pitiful. 😅😅😅
Meanwhile I started an affair with my boss. So I didn´t feel like dealing with any of my suitors. My boss was another story, a real man. Handsome, athletic, wealthy. I really started to like him.(see Married Guy)
One day, Mathew came to see me to the bar. I was surprised because I haven’t seen him since New Year´s Eve. He just told me that he saw me when I went to my boss´s home. Although, he didn’t think that I was that kind of girl. He really liked me and I disappointed him. He fell in love with me and he knew that he made mistakes by lying to me, but now he doesn’t love me anymore, because he found out what sort of woman I was and he felt pity for me.
I was speechless. For a moment, I didn’t know how to react. On the one hand I wasn’t prepared to answer questions about me and my boss. I still hadn’t figured out what kind of relationship we had. On the other hand, I felt a bit sorry about the other stuff Mathew told me. It hurt my heart that he fell in love with me.
How could he? Nobody can love me. It´s not possible. Love doesn’t exist. Not for me! Not anymore! Love is dead! He can´t love me. Anyway, he doesn’t anymore. I rejected him and that’s how I wanted it. That’s just my way and that’s how I will do it in the future. And I will do it always like that. I don’t want love. I don’t want to love anyone and I don’t want anyone to love me. Love makes everything complicated. Love hurts. I know I´m having an affair with my boss now, but that is just sex. Nothing else.
I told to Mathew that I only walked my boss home because he was very drunk. That was actually true because he was really drunk. I said that I went up to his apartment just to make sure that he was going to be alright and that he didn’t fall somewhere. I don’t know if he believed me or not. I don’t think he did. Neither would I believe that kind of excuse. But what was I supposed to say? I couldn’t tell him the truth. That was only thing what I could make up in that moment. 🤷♀️
“Chapter 4” coming next week… “When I Was Pregnant” (what happened in Malta?)
Next side story coming 🔜… “What happened in Italy” (after 2nd year of college, Klara and Lea went for summer job to Italy. What had they been through there? What secret connected them?)